March 3, 2009
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you never stop missing your mom
March 3, 1936 — August 25, 1996
I wish I had more pictures of my mom — I’ve got precious few in digital form (only the ones my brother has scanned), and not too many actual prints either. Kinda weird considering how many thousands of photos I have from my high school years … but we weren’t really a snap-happy family.
If you look at her senior picture from high school, we bear a striking resemblance. Most folks, though, see a lot more of my dad in me than her features. The photo I have up is near the end of her life…. wish I could post one from her younger days.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about losing my parents so quickly after college. I don’t really have anything to say about it; it’s just been on my mind. I’m old enough now to realize how much my parents sacrificed on my behalf and how predictably self-absorbed I was during my adolescent years. I miss their presence and their wisdom. There are a lot of things I needed to say….
The Lord has been good to me — He’s provided a number of caring, prudent people a decade or two further down life’s journey who can fill in the gaps when I need parental advice. I appreciate those folks very much, though I usually don’t tell them that they are much-loved gap-fillers.
But I’ll be honest — this blows.
I thought it would get easier as I got older. Turns out I just miss my parents even more….probably because I’m becoming more like them.
Comments (4)
(((((Lori)))))
Your folks were great people–and they raised a great daughter. They would be so proud of what you’re doing with your life.
Happy Birthday Mom!!!
If you have any prints, we have a scanner now….
@Savage1992 - I am truly amazed sometimes when I think of how my parents didn’t clutch; they didn’t blink when I said “I want to spend my life overseas” or “I’d like to go to college 500 miles away.”
Part of this probably comes from mom’s brush with death when I was only 12, and her ensuing determination to raise me to live my life successfully without her if need be… and that turned out to essentially be true.
I probably won’t understand how much that really cost her until I have my own teenager(s) to wrestle with.
But having ‘borrowed’ a few (dearly loved) ones in the past 5 years, I am starting to get an idea….
I just wrote this to a friend of mine, so I’m going to post it here too….
______________
I write these posts on my parents’ birthdays and Glory days because I live too far from home to visit their graves more than once every 4 or 5 years.
I’m not a particularly melancholic person, and it’s not like I think about this 24/7 … but I was too dumb at the age of 22 or 25 to truly realize what I was losing when my parents died.
At the same time, I would never trade their heavenly existence for this one. God is good; in His presence are the pleasures of joy forever. I truly don’t want my parents back if it means they have to give up everything they have now.
But I think growing up (and working with adolescents on a daily basis) has started to drive home many of the things I didn’t realize when I was younger. Sometimes I get frustrated at the kids I teach because they are so blatantly oblivious to the sacrifices so many people make on their behalf every day … and then I remember that I was the same way at their age — probably worse, to be honest.
@LoroJoro - Yeah. Parents that have learned how to “not clutch” are rare… and their children are blessed.
We should aspire to such wisdom (IOW my kids are cursed!)
Hugs!