Melinda reminded me that I never wrote up the "will of God" post that I threatened to do on Day 7. Lacking anything else to write about at the moment (that I feel like sharing), and needing a break from my house cleaning venture (got guests underfoot tomorrow and Friday), this is as good a topic as any.Christianity seems to posit a narrow view of God in His fathering of us, whom He calls "children." It's true that the Bible includes multiple references to "what God wants us to do," usually signaled by some phrase like "for this is God's will" (etc). God clearly wants us to abstain from sex outside of marriage, give to those in need, love one another, etc.
But taking those statements as an exhaustive and restrictive pattern for life seems wrong-headed.
I know of no parent who would want his philosophy of life defined by his household rules or his particular statements about what makes a good college choice. We must take into account the character of a father, or a mother's lifelong devotion and sacrifice for her children when trying to make a statement about their wishes for their children. Every parent I know wants their kids to be happy, and godly parents understand that "being successful" in God's kingdom has nothing to do with earning a lot of money or becoming famous. Those things might come, but Kingdom 'success' rests on loving God and others, pouring yourself out into making this planet and its inhabitants better than the way you found them by the power of the Gospel.... for the glory of the God and Redeemer who modeled that kind of love for us at Calvary. (Jim Berg: "A Christian always leaves a room better than how he found it. We are
redemptive people.")
The more I get to know the Lord for who He is, the more I sense that our inherent perceptions of Him are just as twisted by sin as everything else about us.
We ascribe selfish motives to Him. I catch myself thinking, "Oh, I'm sure that'll never happen. I actually desire it, so I'm sure God is going to do the opposite."
We try to manipulate God by promising Him love or faithfulness or 'aright attitude' as if He were dumber than our human parents and incapable of seeing our selfish motives.
We wallow in guilt and self-deprecation in hopes that maybe humility will earn us the favor we seek when self-righteous works have failed.
This "wallowing" view of the world and will of God assumes Him to be just like any other cranky human parent, one who gives more on some days than others. "Erm, I sinned pretty badly yesterday, so maybe I should wait till the end of the week to ask God about this." We spent our childhood years finding ways to avoid chores; why not avoid heaven-sent work as well? "If I get really involved in this ministry at church, maybe God will be happy with that, and I won't have to talk to my next-door neighbor... ever."
This thinking costs us the magnificent realization that God
rejoices in His children.
No wise, loving parent would take a kid fascinated by engines and constantly tinkering around with the lawn mower and force him to major in ancient history in college. [I wish more parents, likewise, would not force the kid bent toward writing, music, art or other humanities pursuits to study 4 years of business classes 'so she'll have a job someday.' The warning about future unemployment in the humanities fields might sometimes be valid; the forced march through a 4 year degree outside a child's gifts and interests might 'build character' but it'll come at a deep cost of joy.]
Anyway, my point: Wise parents know what makes their child happy, from big cosmic "gifts and talents" questions to their kid's favorite flavor of ice cream or knowing whether John's birthday party should include seeing a baseball game or hosting a video game party.
Why do we assume, therefore, that God wants us
unhappy?
THAT is my problem with the 'will of God' theology that I grew up with.
If God's will for my life is defined as a narrow, restrictive list of regulations, God becomes a parsimonious, unhappy parent, more "bothered" by His children than delighting in them.
If the "permissible" activities of this world are limited by an unbiblical definition of what is sinful, God's will becomes a narrow pigeon-hole.
"Ministry" careers will rise to the level of hysterical importance (especially if this world and all it containts is headed to hell in a handbasket and nothing matters but evaneglism). "Secular" careers will take secondary importance -- relegated to the saps whose spirituality fails to lift them to a level of self-discipline where they could set aside their love for history or crunching numbers organizing people or stories or fixing stuff in order to devote their lives to "God's service."
What mess have we made of God and His ways?!
How He must grieve that we so stumble over His very gift of being able to take
joy from our gifts, talents, and vocation in our rush to make Him happy with our unhappy DUTY.
Comments (2)
Hear, hear.
Paul and I were just talking over lunch about getting KP a summer with his grampa Van. Given how they both like to work with their hands, it'd be like a mini-trade school, LOL.
Bible study this year is going through the book of James. Couple of months ago we hit ch. 1 vs. 5: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Most of us have NO idea what it's like to have a parent that "upbraideth not." God is so OTHER than us. We just have NO idea....
Lovely post Lori! As I parent, I have made the mistake of "making" my children do things even though they are not interested because I wanted them to be well rounded individuals. Not that that is a bad thing. Yet in the end I have found I just have a miserable child....having no joy. Parents (myself Included) are so guilty of wanting what the world wants for our children, we want them to be popular, we want them to fit in. we want them to go to college and have a well paid career, we want them to be happy. I have been humbled so much over the course of the last few years as my children have entered school. School was always easy for me, I loved every minute of it. Yet both of my girls have struggled in one way or another. Through their struggles I have had to realize (thanks to my Heavenly Father) that all that ultimately matters is Him. Even through the struggles, as long as my children are learning and desireing to have a closer walk with Him that is all that matters. We must pray for God's will for our children. He is the one that "really" knows what is best for them. Although it is difficult to fathom that He loves our children more than we do.....He really does!