February 23, 2009

• “covenant” does not mean “ownership”

  I’ve noticed a rising trend lately among the parents in our younger grades to define the “covenantal” part of NCS’s “Christian/covenantal/classical” philosophy thus: “Because the school has partnered with the parents, the school must give in when enough parents want something to change.”

  Or more bluntly, “we write the tuition checks, so ultimately we ‘own’ your vision and mission.”  Partnership equals unequal control.

  That’s not what I thought covenantal meant when I hired on. LOL

  Some thoughts off the top of my head — feel free to react if something strikes you.

  • “Covenantal” in our mission means that we partner with families who know Christ, who acknowledge His lordship over their childrearing, and who profess faith in a God who saves by grace.  By extension, that means that we faculty are hopefully going the same direction as the parents, but I never thought that meant we’d always be in agreement.
  • Schools don’t operate well when parents and teachers aren’t in agreement on the BIG issues — the grace-based discipline that we try to implement, our curriculum goals, our underlying committment to “present every child complete in Christ,” not just the smart ones.
  • However schools also don’t operate well when no one has an alternate opinion.  It seems like families and teachers form a dialectic — different perspectives moving toward the same goal. (I hope.)  That conflict of perspectives (a ‘soft’ conflict — merely the differences that arise from different viewpoints) pushes us all toward a compromise that hopefully works for each family.
  • I think there’s a fine line between deception and “not borrowing trouble.”  I don’t tell parents that I’m going to drop a book out of my reading list if they don’t like it.  No one has ever challenged me on that. But I think there are some families rising into the ranks in future years who will (if their kid decides to tell them everything we’re reading in the high school).   Is it wrong not to offer “full disclosure” if you know that parents won’t be upset if you don’t go stir the pot by asking?
  • To what extent does the communal nature of the Church mean that parents need alternate voices when raising their children?   When we PCA people take that vow to “assist new parents in training up this child in God’s ways” at a baptism, does that vow give me the right to suggest that a parent needs to let their teen step out from the shadow of protection and begin to experience a broader taste of culture and literature?

  I’m a fighter, not a peacemaker. It’s a weakness sometimes — a significant one.  I’m much more likely to dig in and refuse to budge when someone challenges what I’m teaching / reading / saying (assuming they’re challenging something that I’m doing purposefully — not just a flat our mistake on my part).   So I’m wondering how to moderate my spitfire with some relational wisdom.

  • 7:19 pm
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